Awakening got farmed (mostly Tipzy), BAMF sentenced to three months of therapy, and Phil got banned by gay association. GGG went full vigilante, somehow solved smoke, and torched the admins in the process. Almost iconic. Stupid. But iconic.

If you’ve been anywhere near the Call of Duty 2 NA scene lately, you’ve probably heard two things:

1. Smoke is broken
2. The community won’t shut up about it

Let’s set the stage.

Check 6, a top-tier team with a minor in drama, has been on a months-long crusade against North American smoke settings. Screenshots, rant threads, whispered conspiracies about DirectX 9. It was starting to feel like a support group for boomer gamers. But some of us did see the light through their poor choice of words. And some of us took matters into their own hands after feeling the fatigue from the PUG blender.

Here comes GGG.

Gay Guy Gaming, a team of fully-out and fully-committed chaos agents. Their sexual orientation isn’t just a footnote, it’s a banner. They’re loud, proud, and apparently done waiting for someone else to fix things.

So they did what any non-rational, non-reasonable team would do. They went full vigilante.

First victim, Awakening, the number one team in the league. GGG loaded in, turned smoke into vapor, and began deleting players, blatantly and shamelessly. Poor Tipsy racked up 246 deaths. In some countries, that’s a war crime.

This would’ve been all well and good, point proven, but they didn’t stop there.

Next up, BAMF, the league’s most lovable, but winless team, was used as a protest prop. Arguably, a protest mop. They got, with zero hesitation, mopped and annihilated like the kids in gym class just trying to get a passing grade.

Ultimately, GGG got slapped with a six-month suspension. Fair. BigDickSlingingPhil, who didn’t cheat, didn’t abuse smoke, maybe didn’t even realize what kind of historic game he was in, got nuked by gay association.

And yet, on the flip side, despite verbally torching every admin in range, GGG also helped fix the very smoke problem they abused. They explained the exploit and exposed DirectX 9 for the crusty relic it is. A crutch for boomer gamers. An unclean and filthy example of the game we all hate to love.

In response, Harold, part of the community’s cabal elite, forced DirectX 7 in a new NA PAM update, which now spontaneously sets your computer on fire when turning on DX9. A fitting purgatory for the retards who would choose to play on such a soiled setting.

The Great Smoke Inquisition is over. Smoke is fixed (for now). GGG is banned. BAMF is said to be recovering in a safe house somewhere. Phil is banned and still doesn’t know why. Cries of joy echo from the Check 6 camp, where victory tasted even sweeter when someone else is doing their dirty work.

It was dumb. It was petty. But no one can debate that it was effective. And for GGG, the six-month ban might be bearable when you’re resting on laurels, or go down in flames this triumphantly.